CIH Stallions

Pot smoking pinkos in the electoral commission!

2007-08-02T22:51:00.000+10:00

Maccas ad inspires false hope

2007-07-30T11:03:00.000+10:00

I decided to do a real world test on the maccas ad where the dudes alarm goes off at 1025am and he jumps fences and dodges cars etc to get some breaky by 1030.

Seeing my fitness was down a bit and I was in unfamiliar territory, I set off at 1010am....time seemed to pass at a rapid rate and new bends and turns seemed to appear where they had not existed previously, but finally by 1026am I had spotted the famed golden arches in the distance. A couple of near misses from cars unaware of my predicament and I was hurdling the last fence with one last check of my watch....1029am, I had done the unthinkable.....hotcakes would be mine.

If only life were so simple...as I sauntered up to the counter the first bout of panic hit me for the bacon and egg muffins and hash browns on the menu were changing into burgers and fries. I still had hope, surely at 1030 on the dot they don't suddenly throw all their breakfast food away....it had been a long journey and a burger for Sunday breakfast was just not gonna do it for me. Then hope just about faded completely, the cheery girl serving the person next to me announced that breakfast was OVER....just like that, no 2minute warning, things were over and there was nothing she could do about it.

I was upset but I had to find out for myself. My turn to be served and with my heart pounding I inquired if they had any hotcakes left.......now I was in quite a state at this point as I probably looked like some kind of junkie looking for a free handout.......with a slight look of panic on his face, the dude behind the counter glanced around furtively and delivery the news that the hotcakes were in fact all over. Distressed, I settled for an orange juice and left the restaurant to regather my thoughts, it had all been for nothing....wasted exercise, energy and hope, they couldn't deliver and I was finished.

Now I would like to deliver a happy ending but unfortunately there was none....I simply write this to inform you all to not believe everything you see on television, especially McDonald's advertising...I hope you never have to experience what I went through....

Greetings from Sydney

2007-05-03T15:49:00.000+10:00

So it has finally come to pass, I am no longer a member of the esteemed Canberra brethren. It's took longer than I ever thought possible to escape the clutches of the nation's capital, better late than never though.

While I am still adjusting to the sights and sounds of the big city, I did find sometime to go back and celebrate with my old comrades (Ferret and Debsie at least) on Canberra turf one last time. And celebrate we did from what I recall. Substance abuse is a wonderful thing that is every man's god given right, but I have noticed it can lead to short term memory loss. So I will fill you in with the pieces (not necessarily in chronological order) that I can remember.

Upon arrival Ferret presented me with a gift of our friendship. Apparently he knew the secret of my childhood that I was in fact an avid bird watcher. The present that fell to the floor as I ripped open the packaging was non-other than a man G-String in the shape of a Toucan. I started grabbing hastily for my gin as it dawned on me this present wasn't entirely for show.

Then apparently this happened. ...

Along with me and Ferret, I would like to introduce you to a new member of the brethren, he goes by the moniker of the Latvian. Can I suggest that if you ever go to Canberra (or even if you live there) it’s actually a lot of fun on a 24hr bender.

P.S. Did anyone else notice the distinct lack of Debsie's participation in that video?... hmmm

Whatever u say Debs...

2007-03-15T22:58:00.000+11:00

.. but for me, this was by far the highlight of the day... Debsie's busy doing his best impersonation of a douchebag while "first-rate" Marcus just stands there like he has a carrot up his arse...

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you.... 4 tickets to the gun show!

Field Day 07

2007-02-23T22:45:00.000+11:00

Originally meant to be posted sometime around the actual event but better late than never m_therfucka!

Tisket A tasket.

All I can say is for everyone that was present at the very first Field Day a couple of years ago, there’s no way it could ever be topped – breaks and house were exploding across Sydney, it had a strong sense of excitement and you just can’t beat the intimacy of what was a much smaller festival. What is Field Day? Well it’s basically one of the city’s most iconic events and biggest and best parties in the world held in the grassy Domain each year on the 1st of January. This time Ferret Boy and I invaded the scene, and left a lasting impression with intoxication, fornication, and thrashing our collective....well you get the rest.

By the time we reached the Domain at 2:30 odd the clouds had dispersed and the sun was starting to come out – revealing a glorious sunny blue day that never really got too hot. First up was straight Concert Stage for a little bit of Crazy Penis. Expectations were high for these guys after cracking live performances at both Parklife and Good Vibrations in years gone by, but what the crowd got was an all-too-chilled set that would have been better off over in the Jazz Lounge. It’s hard to say exactly what happened here: perhaps there was too much unfamiliar new material being dropped or maybe the cavernous space of the Main Stage didn’t work for their particular brand of disco funk. What worked so well in creating a ‘festival’ atmosphere at Parklife last year didn’t quite hit the spot this time.

Mylo was another of the big names to hit the Main Stage before the sun went down, and for someone with a reputation as an extremely popular producer but an average DJ, he did a whole lot better than expected. Fortunately for us, The Freestylers with their always subliminal breaks and the UK Duo Plump DJs nu-school dance ‘anthems’ came through in the clutch both delivering mind blowing performances that rocked the crowd. Other great acts from what I can remember were Kid Kenobi, Kaskade and an impressive international lineup featuring Tom Neville, Jamie Lidell and Switch. But anyway enough of that, I’m starting to feel like I’m writing a Lightfoot review…perhaps I should write about the quality of the water in the dunnies to make it sound more legitimate?

During the show I managed to capture these two kids pulling some kind of crazy freestyle. I was kind of hoping the guy in the checkered shirt was going to stack it and land on his arse, but sadly it didn’t come close to how it played out in my mind.

...In fact this what I always think when someone comes blowing by on a fucking push bike, flashing a hand-plant on a skater, jump ropes, trampolines, you name it...I often wonder if I’m the only kid who thinks like this?...Maybe I’m just sadistic.

I’m going to leave you what turned out to be the highlight of the trip for mine and I think Ferret Boy will agree. During our drive up to Sydney, we saw this kid in the Marulan Kentucky Fried Chicken line up. Boys and girls I give you.....Rednut. :)

Hehe what a cut little freak! If the gay arse red haired mullet wasn’t enough, he managed to package the entire presentation in an extremely tight fitting salmon colored wife beater, so tight that you can clearly see the outline of the spine running down the middle of his back. Standing all of 5 foot 4, the guy was clearly the membrane straight off his old mans cock. What a sight, luckily I composed myself and remembered I had my phone with me at the time, because this fine specimen was definitely something worth remembering. In fact I remember Ferret saying something along the lines of erecting a statue out of the Bogan when we got back home....if only.

Oh yeah..and I’ll rip down the basket.

Love Debs.

Fist vs Ferret

2007-01-21T21:18:00.000+11:00

A fight 40,000 years in the making, there will be no love lost in this matchup, both fighters have prepared extensively for this bout. Tonight it's not about the prize money.... this time it's personal.

Fist: "Yeah i think basically I'm going to go into the octagon and just take Ferret down with a combination of speed, skill and ferocity. He's simply not ready, I know he's got some good takedown moves but I've been working on all aspects of my game, look for a first round knockout."

Ferret: "He's been talking smack for too long now, it's time for me to show that nobody messes with Ferret, basically the way I see it is there's two ways out of the octagon for Fist tonight, tap out or get knocked out."

So without further adieu....

The New Traveller Add

2006-12-29T19:08:00.000+11:00

Waking up Christmas day, and sporting the nastiest hangover from the night before, I wasn’t in much of a mood to revel in the spirit of our fine religious holiday much less make nice with the relatives and ugly in-laws.

What was I to do? I needed an escape plan and stat. Fortunately for me, my brother was rostered on to do surf lifesaving duties down at the beach for most of the day...so I joined in on the fun.

What was meant to be just another boring Christmas day turned out to be a day I won’t soon forget as I met Golie! (Aptly named because spit forms round the outside of his mouth when he talks) He’s a 60yr old ex Iron Man champion who’s still the Australian champion and record holder for his age group. Hanging around this guy is like sitting round a camp fire listening to Ray Martin tell stories…I’m seriously considering joining the surf club just so I can bask in Golie’s heavenly glory and ask him what it feels like to have guys like Trevor Hendy, Darren and Dean Mercer look up to you.

You can’t see much from the vid, but Golie gives us the maddest thumbs up of all time as he drives off with the quad to get us some meat pies...or 'travellers'.

Oh yeah and my bro rescued some Asian swimmers wearing pairs of Poindexters old bodgy smugglers. Hehe I didn’t know you sold those puppies on eBay already! I would’ve paid a small fortune for em Dex.

Woman caught horsing around with stallion

2006-11-30T20:07:00.000+11:00

See here
November 30, 2006 03:10pm
Article from: Agence France-Presse

A WOMAN has been charged with bestiality after she was allegedly caught naked in a paddock having sex with a horse.
Officers allegedly found the 35-year-old woman commiting an indecent act with the horse when they were called to a field in Lismore, north of Sydney.

"The woman was arrested and charged with bestiality and behaving in an offensive manner,'' a New South Wales police spokesman said.

The Casino woman was bailed to appear in Lismore Local Court on December 18.

I know chicks wanna get closer to the stallions, but this is ridiculous...

Pornography for all....

2006-11-23T22:06:00.000+11:00

Don't be disappointed, I'm not posting an actual porno here. However it is in fact something better.

Stallions live. At Oktoberfest Canberra. Watching porn. Dirty porn. On a Mobile phone.

ps. I seem to be addicted to Boney M. Is that wrong?

Get Some Metal Up You!

2006-11-06T21:32:00.000+11:00

So as Ferret incinuated in his previous attempt at blogging, Metal For The Brain was our destination of choice this wkend. We put on as much black as we could muster and headed up to the grand bastion of metal festivals in Australia (and sadly the last one ever).

We were confronted with long hair, leather/demin jackets, tight black jeans and tattoos as far as the eye could see. Though did we have fun. There was a very large contingent of attractive ladies present, which was pleasing to see. Not often suspected at a festival of said genre.

I'd like to give a better summary, but some drug use on behalf of myself and Ferret seem to have wiped quite a few memories from the brain. I do remember Blood Duster playing and thinking I would really enjoy to getting into the groove, if only I wasn't so high....

Heaven 90210

2006-11-01T11:25:00.000+11:00

It's party season again folks, and even Canberra is fired up!...

The days are longer, the beers are colder and everyone's got that look in their eyes. That's right, it's summer in the southern hemisphere and we're not wasting any time!

Naturally with all this good weather the festivals are hitting town, the first of which myself and LDK were fortunate enough to catch last weekend. Stonefest at the University of Canberra, it's name has something to do with the laying of the first stone of the university or something... hrmm... whatever... Basically it boils down to a drunken 2-day festival, exhibiting the best of electronic music on friday night followed by a rock-n-roll romp on the saturday (not to mention lots of young uni girls out on the prowl in t-shirts with stupid slogans printed on them.. yum). This year's lineup was somewhat surprising tho.

Friday night we were graced with the presence of Regurgitator... a band that we hadn't heard from in quite some time, I think I speak for both LDK and myself when I say we were impressed.. they churned out the classics, which is probably what most people wanted to hear, I don't recall hearing any new songs but I could be wrong.... I'm no expert on the 'gurge.. The rest of the night was a mess of beats/breaks and booze, had a great time but don't remember paying too much attention to anymore acts that night.

The saturday was decidedly less popular with the punters, I assume this had something to do with the debauchery of night before, the people that did make it out looked pale and a little past it... not that that affected the atmosphere any. Saw Cog, almost fell asleep watching them... methinks they are overrated, 'nuff said. The Mark of Cain brought a tear to my eye, they might be old fellas but they still rock hard, in true Adelaide style (even tho they relocated to Melbourne... we still love 'em).

But the highlight for myself, and I'm sure everyone else who's old enough to remember them (certainly not this year's first-year students), was none other than Chicago-bred rockers Urge Overkill... They pumped out an awesome set, showing the crowd what early 90s stars are capable of when they don't die at age 27... Nash Kato was sporting the sinewy, zero-body-fat Iggy Pop physique and Eddie "King" Roeser's hairline looked as though it had receeded a little since back in the day, but hey, it's been eleven years... and heroin does that to you. They made no attempt at playing anything new, they just churned out the classics, and I gotta say it was like stepping into a time machine... we rocked out to Erica Kane/Bottle of Fur/Sister Havana/Somebody Else's Body and all the other classics from the 2 albums that etched them into my memory when I was young and impressionable. All up I reckon that these victims-of-bad-timing have still got it... Who knows if they'll release another album, who cares really... it's just good to know they came out the other side and can still rock-out-with-their-cocks-out.. Urge gets a big stallion salute for that.

Stay tuned for more stallion summer news, next week is Metal For The Brain, LDK and I will be on the scene once again as official CIH Stallions correspondents...

To the people who send me group emails from o/s

2006-08-18T10:16:00.000+10:00

Whats the go with these. I have a number of acquaintances who have gone gallivanting across the world armed with nought but an address book full of emails, so they can rub in just how good a time they are having in Paris,Italy and all those hot and steamy European country's packed with 6ft blond bombshells just gagging for an Aussie accent...soz got a bit off topic there, but damn these emails consist of "only got a few minutes, having such a good time couldn't possibly write it all down because I'd rather be off having a good fucking time!" Well go then then, have your good time, while I while away my day behind a desk, checking my emails every 2nd minute in the hope I can live through you and pretend that I've just visited the Louvre or the Arc de Triumph (sp?).

...and don't get me started on replying. Should I reply? Usually these emails ask a number of questions of home, but how many people is the email addressed to? Is the person hoping for 200 responses just so they can revel in the love from home, while basking in the sun on the Spanish coast. Its not fair, its just not fair!

One last dig...to save people the humiliation of not receiving a reply from said person there is often a disclaimer such as: Please write me but I may not be able to reply to you all, as I'm busy trying to catch the attention of the topless wench who seems to have missplaced my cocktails little umbrella. Arrghhh!

Fuck you, and your good times and keep the emails coming!!!

Remembering a Dogga

2006-07-24T21:37:00.000+10:00

So I spewed on the weekend and broke a five year drought, and instead of any regrets I might of had it gave me some inspiration to write about the last time I saw such a sight. A story about a man that would raise the hairs on the back of anyone's neck...

....Dogga

Whether retardation or inebriation, (who could tell?) he was of the most unpleasant appearance, scrofulous, and sickly of color, with a gross facial deformity that looked to be the result of some terrible accident rather than of a congenital disorder. His limbs almost rent from his body and his dark face crushed as though by some fearsome blow. Broken teeth protruded from mangled welter of stretched skin and gore, and a single blood shot eye stared wildly from the ruin. He made no answer to our greetings, but his mouthings and the guttural sounds he emitted made it plain that he did not possess the power of speech.

My companions and I immediately considered that Fist was an extremely charitable person to have such an acquaintance...

Fumbling about over a bottle of red wine, I guessed that he was after the precious contents that resided within what with the attempts to open the receptacle with both his teeth and an ill made Stanley knife. Trying to persuade him to use a true bottle opener proved to be a lengthy procedure due to his dumbness, but thankfully by dint of careful questioning and explicit gestures we communicated after a fashion. Finally after several attempts, and with me losing my patience, we opened the damn thing for him. After which he grasped it out of my hand with unearthly speed and consumed its contents with bestial haste watching myself and my friends all the while as though afraid we would turn on him. Poor fellow, we must have seemed like gods to his mindless perception.

Anyway, I should have taken this as a bad omen, for upon returning after a great night out with the lads and many frosty brews later, we were faced with one of the more horrible sights I've ever seen. We opened the door and were knocked to the ground as though hit by a run away freight train. An unpleasant scent of suppuration, festered sickening odor of rotting flesh and filth floated slowly throughout. The next scene was an unforgettable one. Spread out upon the assembled futon, was a scarce resemblance of a human being passed out on his face, lying there, suffocating in his own shit....breathing in and out slowly forming a small pool of bubbles around the vomit seeping in and out of his mouth and nostrils. Chunks of indeterminable partially digested product lay about as the morning sun gave a greater meaning to the idea of warmed up leftovers.

In response our emotions raced from laughter, to sadness, to anger, because coupled with the calamity was the fact that our first house inspection was on the cards that very next week. Fortunately the mess was cleaned, apart from a few rough patches here and there, namely on the aforementioned futon (watch where you sit kiddies).

And so the adventures continue for Debsie and Fist in this pad made fit for kings. Stay tuned next week for a tale of a Dogga part two.

Young, dumb and full of hope

2006-07-07T11:22:00.000+10:00

...you can just see it in their eyes...they’ve moved on from their gruelling college degrees and are about to hit the workforce...welcome to CIH guys, I hope someday you will recall the high hopes you held for your professional future, the spirit to work hard and make this country a better place. Join the ranks of the public service, use your hard earned skills to justify the taxes that will pay your salaries for years to come. Brothers and Sisters I welcome you. Please I beg of you, remember the time. Remember...

Guttered Messiah

2006-07-04T18:06:00.000+10:00

There I was sitting on the stairs of one of the many Sydney’s car parks, enjoying a coffee and a cigarette in anticipation of the night’s forthcoming. It seemed that this chilly Saturday evening’s equanimity was unshakeable. Nonetheless I wasn’t hopeless as a bottle of tequila was about to transform our night into a colourful succession of events most of which would sink into oblivion of our deafened memory. And then I saw a shape… A shape that I have seen so many times before and yet this one was different. I bent my head down towards the floor just to find that I was looking at a silhouette of a person whose said mystical appearances on toasted bread have been sold for thousands on e-bay. I thought to myself this must be it. Compared to those fakes this one is worth gold. Here is my chance to get rich very quick and possibly start my own religious sect. But then a revelation-like voice in the back of my head stated…

Well no not really. I am going to do it. Plan of actions:

A sharp object to scrap the solidified gum off the floor.
A Plastic container to preserve the holy shape.
Ebay here comes your true messiah from the gutter.

I've got something better than love...

2006-06-26T18:38:00.000+10:00

I'm a bit worried, I've developed this obsession with roller-derby after seeing a doco on TV about it.... It raises but one question for me... Why don't we do this in Australia? Here we think that soccer (or football for the new army of world-cup inspired purists out there) is the world game... I beg to differ... wait til the world sees the girls on eight wheels...

BRING IT ON!

Are you aged between eighteen and thirty? Do you like wearing fishnets and dishing out physical violence while flying round an oval track? Look no futher... email the Stallions to sign up for the CIH Stallions Roller Derby league. Be the first, be the best. We're waiting for your call!

Credit where credit is due... the woman in the pic is Suzy Hotrod. And don't you forget it..

The car is dead

2006-06-23T22:22:00.000+10:00

Last week my car decided to have the equivalent of a major heart attack. Because of the garage door incident I had to park my car outside - to brave the harsh Canberran winter. Like an old man, my car succumbed to mother nature.

I was driving to work with Ms Poindexter when all of a sudden the engine starts belching smoke. I decided I should probably pull over. I lift up the hood and theres smoke and oil everywhere. I call the NRMA and the guy takes an hour to get there. He discovers that the transmission fluid dipstick has popped out and squirted fluid all over the engine. The smoke was the fluid burning off the engine as it heated up. We start it up and all appears to be running smoothly, but under the surface the car has been mortally wounded. To put it simply the transmission is buggered and the engine has oil leaks everywhere. The garage said that on a scale of good to terminal it was 'bad'. And as it was going to cost $4000-5000 to fix the lot I have decided to get a brand spanking new car.

My options for a new car are:
- Toyota Corolla
- Mitsubishi Lancer
- Mazda 3
- Ford Focus

I'm leaning toward the Focus or Mazda 3

PS - The old car is sitting out the front of my house. It is still drivable - barely. Please note that it is kept locked, however, if anyone wishes to 'procure' it then please write it off (eg. push it off a cliff).

Shame on Stallion grounds

2006-06-21T23:18:00.000+10:00

Poindexter you are so… superstitious. Who believes in the number of the beast these days? I mean we live in the 21^st century... not middle ages. You should know better than that. Even church people are calm in the face of evil coz they know that the pope will protect them. Perhaps you should be more like them. Blind superstitions is just not the way to go. This calls for wisdom. If anyone has insight, let him calculate the number of the beast, for it is man's number. His number is 666.

Oh and the garage door jammed due to a sabotage by a certain shady individual that I hired to keep eye on you. Afterall I can't have 1 years of cunning contemplations go to waste.

P.s.: Next diversion has been scheduled for Friday the 13th. Be wary Dexter… very wary.

P.S.s: My dick is hanging slightly to the right as I am writing this. It must be an omen!

Dexter the Destructor

2006-06-07T22:24:00.000+10:00

The date was 6/6/06. I should have known that something would happen. I was on my way out with Ms Poindexter for a rather pleasant evening of a movie followed by dinner. So we go out to the garage, hop into the car, and buckle up. I start the engine, whack it into reverse and plant my foot. Ms Poindexter turns around and says "The garage door". Next second - CRASH! I jumped out and surveyed the damage. And let me tell you the damage was extensive - like a bomb. The door had a massive buckle where the car had hit it. Bent beams, rollers falling out, springs uncoiled, wires snapped. It was like my worst nightmare come true - I had fucked up big time.

So the next morning I called the real estate agent. Shes goes "Ahhh I see you must have been drunk again". She was supposed to arrange for the garage door people to come out and give me a repair quote, but she wouldn't know how to be efficient even if it bit her on the nose.

Stay tuned - I'll post some picks of the carnage. As well as how much its gonna cost me. I'm thinking in the 100s of $.

Edit: Its gonna cost me $1300 to fix the door. The car now has to brave the harsh Canberran winter as the garage can no longer be used until it is repaired

Leading an unhealthly life...

2006-06-07T22:20:00.000+10:00

I've noticed people have started to questions their lives recently, lost in that post college graduate haze of nothingness. I admit I have often cast my thoughts to this vapidness of the mid 20's, its hard to avoid. That was until this monday.

I work at the airport of this fair town and catch the privately owned ainliner bus. To set the scene I had just got off a 11 hour bus ride from east coast city which is very different to Canberra (i.e. M-Town is beacon of white light amongst a world of grey). Standing at the bus stop @ 7am, feeling a not unsual combination of coming down, hungover, tired and some deep vein thrombosis forming deep in my thighs, i wasn't on top of my game at this stage of the day.

As the bus pulled up, I walked towards the door to start the slow ascent to the horror that is work, when suddenly this couple walked out in front of me. These kids would have been in their late 20's and by the looks of it had been married a while. I don't normally pay too much attention to the ppl around me as it hurts to think without a stimulant in the morning, but this was somehow different. My eyes were drawn to them like a junkie to a needle. Why? I was at a loss. I didn't want to look, but the compulsion was too much.

Then it clicked. I was staring gratuitously at their matching luggage set. The suitcases had a floral pattern (pansy's I think) on pink and green material, probably the most hideous thing I have ever seen. I slowly tore my eyes from the luggage and looked up towards the man's eyes. There was nothing. This man was living and breathing, but dead. He didn't have a life, he had an existence. You could see these ppl just floated from one vantage point to another, always seeking what they can't have. They had travelled the world by tourist bus in between paying off their morgage and planning for kids the world did not need....or want

Looking into his eyes I finally understood the meaning in my life. My purpose is to live my life for people like them, the walking dead. All the drinking, fighting, fucking wasn't for me, it was ALL for them. Everything I did from now on was just for them, the people that couldnt anymore, the lost generation. I realised if I really wanted to help ppl it was time to step it up a notch. To just live life off the vibe, live life like it was the end times (isn't it?), everything else is just one more step to an existence.

I just hope I make them those fuckers proud.

Now where did I put that bottle of whiskey....?

We're going to NZ bitchers!

2006-05-30T21:09:00.000+10:00

That’s right my friends, after zero deliberation Ferret Boy and I have decided to jet off to the South Island of NZ to a little place called Queenstown, the ADRENELINE capital of the world! Eight action packed days of skiing, bundgee jumping, speed boating, drinking and debauchery all for the very small sum of $1500. How long would that last us in our own backyard of Perisha and Thredbo you ask? Probably half as long without the accommodation and lift passes included and oh I don’t know the fact that we’re not in a another country!

A special mention must go out to Cato for organizing this fine trip with all the mods included. The ability to swap ski passes for other activities was a master stroke considering the state we’re going to be in most mornings! Please pass the Berocca.

To help commemorate this occasion, we’re going to ask you, the readers, for a vote on which particular NZ celebration we should include for our next post. Should we;

1. Endure flaming mangina’s. (Yes, that means exactly what it sounds like) Pictorial evidence included of course.

2. Back, sack and crack waxes (ouch!). Please don’t try this at home kids.

Becks eh bro!

N.B. Ferret Boy has also gone to the trouble of including a counter at the bottom of this blog representing how long it will take until the fun begins……

Aussie rules gets on my goat

2006-04-26T09:56:00.000+10:00

Seriously, how is this a sport? For those that are uninitiated, Aussie Rules is a game where you go from one end to the other with the aim of kicking the ball between not 2, but 4 posts. That’s right, if you miss the main posts you can still get a point for getting in the general vicinity. Ridiculous. Now I respect that some people have different tastes (especially if they’re from Melbourne) but this is CANBERRA and there is no AFL team here. This is a rugby league town and the people need to realise it. Head down the pub to see the traditional NRL ANZAC match of the year and there’s a mob of Collingwood and Essendon diehards singing the team song and yelling out something about Pies. Hello! Melbourne is 1000miles to the south, their retarded game has no place here, get out , get out I just want to watch a real game where the hits are hard and the blood is real….

A day of infamy

2006-04-23T11:08:00.000+10:00

The day was 14th April 2006. I awoke as normal and after the usual morning routine, I went out to the garage. Upon entering I found my two bikes were missing and various other items had been moved around. My mind refused to believe it - I had been burgled! Un-fucking-believable!

It turns out that it had probably happened whilst I was at work the previous day. Persons unknown had most likely gained entry through a sliding window (which I am sure was locked). They did make an attempt to get into the house itself, but the impregnable fortress lived up to its reputation.

So the police arrived in due course - after having to call them twice to find out when they'd be arriving. The policeman on the phone said "Oh we're a bit busy over your way at the moment". Jeezus! What is this? Redfern? The Soloman Islands? Then it dawned on me - if the bottle shop had closed there could be widespread rioting. But seriously, Canberra would have to be the most over-policed city in the southern hemisphere. And whilst I appreciate the fact that I got the morning off work a little bit of advanced warning would have been nice.

Anyway the two police officers had a look around and I showed them a beer bottle cap I'd found in my backyard and some suspicious footprints in the garden. One of the coppers seemed more interested in the architecture of my house which he described as 'Mediteranean'. The other one seemed much more efficient and recorded all the details about the stolen items. He gave me a report number which is what I wanted from the begining as I need it for insurance purposes. Two new bikes are on the way - NRMA, it pays to belong :)

Grand Prix

2006-04-05T20:02:00.000+10:00

I recently spend 5 days down in Melbourne to see the Formula 1 Fosters Australian Grand Prix. And what a Grand Prix it was! An awesome spectacle involving fast cars, loud engines, and big crashes. We were fortunate enough to be stting on the last corner and thus witnessed Schumacher getting close and personal with the wall. Another highlight was Jensen Button exploding before my very eyes (his car exploded, not Button himself).

This picture shows Alonso crossing the finishing line followed by Kimi (the sharp-eyed among you will notice the chequered flag). Ferret Boy has no faith in Kimi, but I know he'll come good one day.

The Gut of Andrew

2006-03-14T20:14:00.000+11:00

Ok so I recently did a little sporting research because I’ve got ‘some’ time on my hands. It turns out that the Milwaukee Bucks are a mere 18 and 26 when Andrew Bogut scores less then 13 points a game. This in turn means that they are an astonishing 13 and 4 when he scores 13 or more. 13 and 4!? Are you serious?

Can I just ask Terry Stotts, what the hell are you smoking? Why can’t you run some more post up plays instead of letting Michael Redd shoot the ball forty times a game?

Granted this is what Stotts actually said at the start of the season - ‘He’s a terrific shooter; you just can’t afford to let him get open. But I’m looking for him to be more of an efficient scorer than a volume scorer. I’m not putting numbers on his game, but he’s going to have more players around him and that should enable him to be a more complete player than just a scorer’ – In other words, pass the fucken rock to Bogut bitch!

Cock.

How Delightful!

2006-03-02T17:15:00.000+11:00

Back Again!

Canberra not included on the list... Who's up for a trip to Sydney?

Severed Hair Folicals?

2006-03-01T00:40:00.000+11:00

Yes kids, the Stallions don't lie...

I have lost my hair (well a good 90% of it)

Ferret Boy says I now look like Ted Danson. I heed this as a warning to all people that ever think about entering a hairdresser on acid, only bad things can come. Hence I now look like Becker!

Stay classy san diego

Long Time, No Speak

2006-02-24T16:53:00.000+11:00

Hey hey hey,
It's been a while I know, what's been going on I hear you ask?

just the usual; lessons learned, bridges burned, bosses spurned and lucre earned :)

It's a sleepy Friday afternoon in the public service, the office is so quiet you could hear my pants drop, so what better time than now to get on my electron-soapbox and get some shit off my chest.
I got a new job, I really had to leave my old one, thanks to a fat self-important wanker that was my boss. As the rest of the stallions will testify this job nearly drove me to breaking point.. I'm glad I'm clear of that environment, because things could easily have got very messy.... career-endingly messy.

But you get that.

Although there was one upside... this guy was the kind of guy that would explode when he got angry, he really hadtrouble controlling it, so it turned into a little bit of a game to make him snap in the end. I could say some loaded comments here and there and watch his face go red with rage and veins pop out of his forehead, and the best bit, he had this twitch thing going on where his neck would twitch repeatedly when he was angry and his fat head and double chin would wobble from side to side... funny stuff.

But anyway, aside from that things have been dandy. I managed to squeeze in a couple of trips back to Adelaide for christmas and the Big Day Out which were amazing as per usual... envelopes pushed, lines crossed, weeks that turned into days, usual shit. And up until now 2006 has been reasonably uneventful... let's hope thingsdon't stay that way.

A short one I know, but it's Friday arvo and the pub is calling... adios!

P.S ooh I forgot... LDK cut off his samson locks and the result is HOT... he looks like Ted Danson, a stallion of the old-school :)

Speaking of loofah's.....

2006-02-21T20:49:00.000+11:00

I found this disturbing bathroom item in Fist's shower....and considering I live with him, I think we all need a please explain? Hehe

Look what you've started Attica, he's likely to leave something in my laundry for this…..

The Smell of Penis is in the air

2006-01-28T22:04:00.000+11:00

Do girls like the smell of penis? Apparently they do. I posed the question to a member of the opposite sex a number of weeks ago "Do chicks like it when a guy smells like penis?". The girl responded by giggling her horny little head off. A clear indication that that in this case the answer was in the affirmative.

All the stallions have been appointed new names and are listed below for your convenience.

Ferret Boy: Duke
Fist: Digby
Debsie: Tyson
Boris: Ivan
LDK: Conroy

and lastly - me: Claudius

Sex, sun and sultry goddesses

2005-12-11T22:17:00.000+11:00

I should really post something of a weekend rap considering the debaucherous antics of friday night, but after a few sunday drinks, todays events have really come to the fore.

Starting out as nothing more than a casual game of bitch and slut with Debsie and father, by the end of the day it seemed as if Debsie not only had agreed to 'shift' some tapas for the sultry 'Holly' (of Holly and Gail), but had got in depth with local video girl and her love for the stores porno collection. While I appreciate Debsies efforts in praising me for selecting the debaucherous title in question and claiming that i was 'too scared to borrow the title' myself, I absolutely applaud Debsies efforts in asking the video girl if the porno about girls in cars she was describing was anything like 'pimp my ride'.

Stay tuned for the latest developments in the tapas and tasty video saga!

I'm going to the dandys!

2005-12-05T23:16:00.000+11:00

Let me say....yehaaaaaaaaaaaah!

I am finally going to see the dandy warhols...live...up close at Metro in Jan.

The bastards seem to have been eluding me for the past couple of years but I have you cornered now, no escaping bitches!

Poindexter and Fist's day at the Cricket

2005-12-02T18:12:00.000+11:00

It all started off when I arrived at Fist and Debsies foreshore apartment. Fist and I were taking the day of work to go to the cricket. For those not familiar with cricket, its a hugely popluar sport in Australia and all the other good countries. Today the Prime Minister's XI would be playing the West Indes.

Highlights of the day include: Drinking, watching the antics of the crowd, spotting hotties walking past, lunch at Pangaea, more drinking, watching a drunk fall over a fence, watching people get thrown out, Fist talking louder and louder as he drank more, Fist telling me he wanted to 'do Hermione in the ass', black skies, thunder, downpour, Fist wanting to dive on the oval, Fist wanting to chase cops.

Oh and the cricket. Australia won. It would have been a tight game but in the end the rain ended the whole thing. Stars of the game were: Langer - came out firing in the final few overs, Lara - moving himself down the batting order when things looked pear shaped. Stab - go back to Queanbeyan you fucken poof.

Ski Lodge Anyone?

2005-11-21T22:50:00.000+11:00

LDK managed to spend the weekend traversing in nature, climbing what is known in Australia as the "Snowy Mountains"...

Though as much fun as it was, I think I was a little bit "crazy" for them. For instance when I suggested we all have a sex party and started getting nude, it seemed I was the only one getting naked?!! I dont understand ppl anymore. Sometimes I find it funny that out of a lot of my friend I am up there with the ppl with the highest wages, yet I am also one of the most immature. Go figure.

Also tonight I said goodbye to a really good friend, she's going off to New Zealand for a few months.. Im going to miss that kid, she's a great egg.. Well.. Yeah.. Its getting to heavy, ill have to sign off..

Drink red wine and eat pussy, please its the only way we can save mankind...

The night Australia made the world cup

2005-11-16T23:53:00.000+11:00

All the action in fast forward mod yeah.

Lunch time beers, LDKs last days at CIH, enthusiasm carries us to after work drinks, Boris rocks up, Russian mate flies by, lack of manners yeah, girl touches me on the shoulder, five years go by I’m getting older, Fedo shirt on backwards, geez, beers at O’Malley’s, Lara and Tanya, fully moded up, I’m talking all the mods right, someone touches Fist up the arse, fair play, game time, Kewell makes shot, Schwarzer saves, Viduka you lucky little bitch you got out of that one, celebrations, ecstasy, pillow straight to the head, bleeding nose, black out, wake up to Scooter.....go figure. Works gonna suck.

Psychosis anyone?

2005-11-14T11:44:00.000+11:00

There seems to be new fight against the use of sticky green again in Australia. Apparently it is doing nasty things to our kids (i wonder if getting high is one of them). According to some of our most esteemed politicians, its time to get rid of the de-criminalisation crap and start hitting them were it hurts, preferably sometime in the slammer.. All this marijuana is creating a nation full of schizophrenic criminals..

How good is a country that gave conservatives full control of our parliament!! Weeeee.. Lets all hold on for the bumpy ride ahead kids!

The worst thing is even young people, my peers, are voting for the "coalition". So it seems we might not be able to stop this rot for the forseeable future. I predict it wont be long before abortion is once again on the national agenda *sighs*

All Hail The Mighty Dopethrone

2005-11-11T14:56:00.000+11:00

Well due to popular demand (Thanks Attica!), I have decided to spice up our blog again, breathe some much needed life into the old girl.

So what's been going on? Well the same level of debauchery, we just have been too lazy/high/hungover to be bothered telling the world about it I guess..

A new member has decided to join us, the mighty poindexter! Do not cross him or feel his wrath in an online game! He takes the '.' out of N.E.R.D.. By the way what happended to them, one minute they are storming the world and then, poof, they disappear.. But I digress..

Expect new levels of contributions to this blog, we will raise her mighty corpse from the ashes to once again rule the world of blogspot! Ah Hail The Stallions!

P.S. Listen to Electric Wizard.. or wither in your unblessed obscurity..

P.P.S Anyone got a beer? I could really go one right now..

A new contributor

2005-11-11T14:51:00.000+11:00

Greetings Stallions,

There has been a new addition to the contributors of this blog - myself. Although being one of the original cih stallions, along with Debsie and Fist. I have declined to participate...............until now. In fact I was unaware of the existence of this blog until a month or two ago when I stumbled upon it quite by accident after viewing Boris's msn profile.

As LDK would say - let there be good times.

Ever been to jail?

2005-09-19T22:53:00.000+10:00

Well neither had I, until Saturday night that was...

So there I was, happily minding my own business, just walking (perhaps skipping) down the side of Northbourne ave, when to my utter surprise, two cops came out of nowhere, tackled me to the ground and threw me in a divvy van! I was to spend the next 8 hours in a jail cell, where it was finally determined they didnt want to arrest me. What is going on in this world? Did someone say police state?

I spent the 8 hours trying to work out how long I had been then and how long it was before I could leave the said premise. It hard trying to sleep when there are herion junkies coming down screaming "I need help" and banging their heads against the wall so that blood is pouring from their foreheads.

P.S. The Australian Federal Police's version of events is some fanciful lie that I was insanely intoxicated and that I was chasing down cars and making them swerve to miss me. Could this be true? I have never heard a cop that tells the truth yet, probably more like something in the middle :)

To stay or not to stay..

2005-09-12T21:55:00.000+10:00

It has been a while since I have posted on our fair blog and for that I apologise, my parkinson's is getting the better of me..

Anyway I just spent the wkend in a little old town called 'Adelaide'. Shithole I hear most of you say? Which I retort with "I live in Canberra bitch!"

I can't talk much about what went on, but lets just say that it was one of the best weekends of my life, there was a bit of something for everyone.

I, like our fans, would like some info on how the other stallions faired...

Want more?......thought you did

2005-08-27T05:57:00.000+10:00

Pink Pussy

2005-08-27T05:12:00.000+10:00

Ferret Boy has now been lost to CIH but he sure went out with a bang!

Here are 3 of the Stallions in fine form.

Bye Bye CIH

2005-08-25T15:45:00.000+10:00

The time has come, it's my last day at CIH.... finally... I'm moving on to the greener pastures of ...um... RWED i suppose I'd have to call it.

By no means does this signify the end of the stallions, it simply means we are diversifying. The way I see it, by having heads in so many different departments we are expanding our horizons.

The days at CIH will be missed.. playing mortal kombat all day, smoking in amenities, taking three hour lunch breaks to see movies, random wanderings.. all of these things I hold dear. I just hope that RWED will allow me the freedom that I've enjoyed here (very unlikely methinks).

So to all of you still stuck on the sinking ship that is CIH, I wish you the best. Hopefully one day they will realise the damage they are doing daily to their employees by being fuckheads.

One more thing, I need y'all to promise you'll all take care of the Manhattans (CIH Divas) in my absence, they are all so dear to me.

Lot or Not?

2005-08-15T13:40:00.000+10:00

Originally, I'd planned to spend Saturday night in with some beer and TV which seemed like a great idea until I turn the TV on and the rugby's on (I know it's not very blokey, but frankly I've got better things to do than watch 150kg dudes with no necks running head on into each other). I persisted with the idea nonetheless, all the while messaging the other stallions that were in town and attempting to get them out. But alas to no avail. Just as I was giving up hope, Boris comes through in the clutch, he rings me tells me he's got tequila and he's coming round (yay!).
Over a few tequilas (and some morphine pills and some dexies), Boris and myself decided that despite the rest of the stallions reluctance, going out was a great idea, so we head off to Lot 33.
Going to Lot 33 sans pills is pretty non standard, but we gave it a shot and it turned out to be aiight. We drank, we sat, we drank, we sat and so forth as the night crept in to the wee hours.
As we sat in Lot, I started to realise similarities between the place and the rubgy field I'd been watching on TV earlier. Lot 33 was full-to-the-brim of meat heads.. Perhaps it had something with the rugby being on, I'm not sure (I've never been there in a state to notice much before), but it was seriously full of muscle bound dudes with spikey hair and polo shirts with their collars up.

....Not that there's anything wrong with that ;).

When did these guys start taking drugs? I always thought that they just sank piss and raped chicks for fun.. Did I miss a meeting?

Regardless, a great night was had by all.. We even had a bit of a dance, though I'm certain we were not as energetic on the floor as perhaps we would have been with pills in our bellies.

P.S I'm getting this shirt before I go back there. I wanna fit in.

uno due tre

2005-08-10T11:32:00.000+10:00

thursday came early for a number of the stallions.

priviledges was calling at the grail and who were we to not pick up the phone!

after a fine hearty meal the boys headed to the always entertaining filthy mcfaddens for some cool glasses of pale.

the beer was plentiful as were the board games at which long dong kong seemed to master, while fist couldn't seem to take a trick, or tell the difference between green and blue for that matter.

debsie called for the scattegories but alas there was none to be found, most probably a good thing as scat and beer defintely not a good combo, perhaps next time though!

a little blank after that, the last thing this seedy stallion can remember is debsie revealing her 'female' side.

ps. it is only august but keep an eye out in your mailbox for an early xmas card, it seems this winter there are excess tomatoes in canberra and they need to be put to good use.

Three fucking runs...

2005-08-07T23:50:00.000+10:00

How much agony do you want to put young stallions through??!

At least it was a great test match!

I can't report on the other stallions wkends, but LDK (myself) had a very, very good time in old canberra land.. I hope the rest of the stallions faired as well..

Keep on truckin'

P.S. Boobies!

Show me the Money!

2005-08-01T20:18:00.000+10:00

Having just come back from a holiday and starting my new job has caused some insightful thoughts cross my restless mind. I have experienced life from many perspectives but for one: never having had lots of money. It’s not like I am poor or starving or constantly short on cash, it’s just that I have to work to get it. I mean why isn’t my father an oil tycoon or a corrupted politician, seriously? Wouldn’t it be great to live as if you were on an endless holiday? I guess it would degrade me to a nip of a human being but hey it would still be an experience. I don’t need lots of money out of greed; I need it just so I could stop thinking about it and see what the lots of it makes of me ;)

To sum it up I have this to say:

1. To all those working people out there: don’t have too much fun on your holiday because in the end same degrading thoughts may be circling your head.

2. Is your father an oil tycoon or are you simply extremely rich? Are you an attractive female aged over 18 and.. well not too old? Have you carefully read trough this post? If you answer ‘yes’ to all of the above – we should talk, message me now!

Did I hear someone say PENDULUM?

2005-08-01T15:25:00.000+10:00

Yes that's right folks, if you were at the fine venue of Toast (let's enjoy the last two months) then you would have seen some very sexy man biscuits running around off their heads enjoying the fine musical genre that is drum&bass..

While I personally don't remember much of the experience, Im sure fun was had by all. I do remember pinky swearing with the Stallions to visit the gym the next day, geez I must have been high. Cause we all know gym's are for losers!

And big props to Ferret Boy for finding my house keys. That could have spelt trouble..

P.S. For all those Boris fans out there, word on the street is he's back in the capital. It was a nice surprise as I sort of forgot about him hey. Im sure its just cause I have a bad short term memory though..

Strangest thing happened last night...

2005-07-28T11:24:00.000+10:00

I was sitting in a bar with a couple of Stallions enjoying what was the backend of a hard gruelling, energy sapping day in the public service. When I suddenely turned around and there was Fist just licking the arm of my jumper. Like any normal man all that went through my head was 'wtf'? I have no idea and can only assume he was making a non-so subtle attempt to 'pick me up'...

It was sort of flattering in a way, its not everyday a Stallion of Fist's presence makes a pass at me. I'll have to think how I can let him down gently..

Another milestone for the Stallions

2005-07-25T18:32:00.000+10:00

Yes, thats right we made it to 1000 hits! Thankyou very much to everyone who has graced us with their presence, you are all so special!

Keep it up USA, your leading the pack of our international visitors. Special mentions also goto Thailand (fair enough boris is currently dodging bullets and trying to avoid paying for sex there), Singapore, the Netherlands, Canada, UK, Portugal and Spain. Everyone else keep up the good work and your country might get an extra special Stallion mention when we reach 5000!

subnote: to celebrate this event, google has been so kind as to index the blog. hello google, hello world!

Whats on.....scrotes in the email thats whats on!

2005-07-23T19:37:00.000+10:00

Blog Do's and Dont's

2005-07-23T13:06:00.000+10:00

Ok since all this nonsense started, I've been reading a lot of other people's blogs (via the trusty 'next blog' button). In these time wasting sessions I've encounted a whole spectrum of different blogs, from mindless self indulgent dribble to thoughtful and entertaining rants. (where do we fit in?). But despite being new to the game I think that I've worked out some reasonable guidelines for what should and shouldn't go on blogs, so here goes.

Do:

Allow anonymous comments (if someone's got something to say, let them say it, even if they won't put their name to it)
Include lots of juicy pictures (even if they're not of nutsacks)
Post regularly to keep it fresh

Don't:

Write blogs in languages other than english (english is the new latin, monkey talkers)
Think too much about what you're writing (honesty is the best policy)
Make a commercial blog (if you've got a product/service to sell, stop being a tightarse and make a real website)
Adorn your blog with lots of javascript and flashy little animation. Not only is it tacky, it means I load up your shitty little blog, click on 25 Javascript errors that popup, and half the content is missing. If you need to rely on cutesy crap like that, keep your absent thoughts to yourself, forget about blogging.

Weekend adventures?

2005-07-22T21:34:00.000+10:00

...........With Boris still in Thailand, and LDK venturing to the happy lands of Byron for Splendour in the Grass, the Stallion numbers have been cut in half. Will the remaining members keep the Canberra flame burning you ask? Hell yes! The possibilities are endless and the partying will be in full swing..... where will we end up? I can't say, but the road ahead contains endless possibilities.

Japanese girls don't wear G-Strings

2005-07-21T18:09:00.000+10:00

Just a short one as to not push the scrotes too far down... check this out.. Only in Japan

Scrot-a-rama

2005-07-20T18:26:00.000+10:00

Update: well 20 votes later it seems a foregone conclusion that the whats-on mailing list will be receiving some scrote in their inbox. 1 person voted for the scrotes to be removed. Is this the kind of person we want on the blog, I think not!

As much as i love those scrotes being the last thing i see before i go to bed and the first thing i see when i get up in the morning, i believe it should be UP TO YOU, our visitors to decide whether they stay or go.

You could go so far as to say this is a big-brother (spew!) inspired event. It's simple. Make your vote count cos you only get one, unless of course you find another computer and completely rig it!

My personal opinion is that the scrotes will most likely live on, but we will see!

Who's scrote is that?

2005-07-19T18:40:00.000+10:00

We've got a very special treat for all of you out there in blog land today. We're gona play a little game called "Who's scrote is that". The first person to leave a comment correctly identifying all four nutsacks wins a king sized twix, hand delivered by poindexter himself.

There is but one clue. The four scrotes do not necessarily belong to four separate people, there may be one repeated. (There would be four separate scrotes if fist had been any kind of backseat scrote photographer... oops there goes another clue)

Let the games begin :)

What A FRIDAY Night

2005-07-16T22:43:00.000+10:00

I know you missed us, but the STALLIONS went to a small pokey country town called wollongong for the firday night. Oh the hilarity. Contrary to popular belief, this place is the bomb! We cruised fron the brewery to the oxford to the glass house to cooneys to the BEST JOINT IN THE GONG... BLUENOTE!! Oh the NORKIES!!!

By the way, Debsie's brother is pretty damn cool, but a little self-absorbed, while his sister is an absolute FOX...

What else can I tell you.. The last thing I remember is a hot DRUNK slut at the North Gong Hotel yelling at the top of her lungs "Anyone want my cunt?!" Of course we all obliged..

P.S. Fist's Mum was a fucking HOT and HORNY bitch when she got married.. How did James C. end up with such a hottie bitch.. What a Champ!!!! I can't wait to see Corinna's SNATCH, I bet she's STALLION worthy..

Oh and FRANKIE FOUR FINGERS HAS FINALLY GOT THE MESSAGE THAT HE'S A TOOL

Not another "And then there were five..." post

2005-07-13T11:53:00.000+10:00

It seams that Frankie abandoned the blog. His sensitive nature couldn't cope up with all the pressure coming from more life-polished Stallions. What can this mean for the blog?! ... well nothing really

Due to popular demand

2005-07-13T00:13:00.000+10:00

As I'm so self obsessed and quote a "wank stain" I am no longer going to be associated with this blog.

Enjoy your corner of cyberspace stallions

Mark

So Boris is lost to CIH...

2005-07-12T15:26:00.000+10:00

..but atleast he remains a Stallion!

It seems he's moving to a job in a place called 'Watson'. You would have thought he have the fucking decency to move to a suburb that any of us had FUCKING heard of!!!

He really is the most inconsiderate Stallion I know. Maybe a few weeks in Thailand contracting various STD's will help him become a nicer person..

In Memoriam

2005-07-12T14:42:00.000+10:00

I am not produced by pharrel

Scandal hits the Blog!!

2005-07-11T15:10:00.000+10:00

It seems that power has gone to the head of some Stallions and there has been some censorship of posts.. Is this right? What was his motive? The intrigue.. I think a case like this screams out "Goran, where are you?!!"

Is this as big as Clinton putting a cigar up some girls love canal? All im saying is don't be surprised if this is in the Daily Telegraph before the end of the day..

...in the meantime all Stallions have forfeited their rights to administrator access.

Good day to you sir!

We've taken a hit, we're going down!!!

2005-07-08T14:40:00.000+10:00

It seems that the stallions are dropping like flies... First there's fist who's got his (miniature horse) mates over from Woolongong, Frankie's in bed with some god forsaken illness (sexually transmitted?) and now long dong kong is bailing, citing poorness as a reason. What will become of the already dessimated stallion crew on this wintry Canberra friday?
Will the three remaining stallions rally together and generate enough heat to sustain life? will the miniature horses step up to the plate and contribute? will fist be brought back in to the equation?
All these are questions that will only be answered in time. If you're reading this, cross your fingers and or pray for us. I'm thinking the power of tequila and the might of TeeBee on the Toast decks might just see us through.

God Speed Stallions, this may be one of the most difficult missions we've faced yet.

Can wierd haircut get you a root?

2005-07-07T23:17:00.000+10:00

It seems to me that there is some connection between a weird haircut and having a better chance of picking up. Just think about it, weird haircut attracts attention and that's the first step on every man's path to the sole reason of our existence. And then you use the tongue…

I say there are 2 ways to succeed:

1. Look good and stylish, stand in the corner, look pretty and wait till she falls onto your lap.
2. Go over and chat her up.

Which method works better?! Well basing one one's experience and the fact that women "love with ears" I’d say it's method NUMBER 2!

So go on Debsie, indulge yourself! That's right step out there and play the game by the new rules … or wait until your sexy blonde curls grow back up on again.

And then there were six again...

2005-07-06T16:37:00.000+10:00

Boris has got wonderful news for all the stallions and girls at B-Bar... Although government beurocracy almost cost CIH Stallion a member it's failed to get Canberra rid of one of the few Russian residents. Boris is leaving ACT... but just for a short trip to tropical Thailand after which he shall return and contribute to CIH endeavors as per usual. He also calls on everyone to have two tequila sessions this w/e to rejoice at these wonderful news... yes Debsie and Fist it's your chance to redeem those two fine days/nights when you left for Wollongong and missed out on all the action.

I salute you all... let there be gak

Mixmaster Mike hits the nations capital!

2005-06-30T11:47:00.000+10:00

mike
Originally uploaded by Fist.

thats right ladies and gents, Mixmaster Mike will be ripping up the ANU Refectory on 25 August. To say the least, the quality of music being delivered to the Canberra region in recent times has been rather ordinary, but it seems times are a changing. The word has got round that the Stallions are wanting more, and the best of the best are responding. Butterfingers, Faker, Cog and the likes of Shihad will also be making the journey over the next couple of months so get off your ass and come see these guys, you may even be lucky enough to meet a stallion!

Ohh the agony...

2005-06-30T00:15:00.000+10:00

Ahh it was as typical as any other day leaving the once familiar ground of the hic, only this time it was different. As I was leaving the confines of our humble workplace, she stole my breath away. Though others engaged me in conversation, my glance kept straying to where she stood......I gazed at her with undistinguished admiration. To my joy, some quality in her eyes returned my look allowed me to perceive that she too sensed some magical attraction, and I felt as though a strange and wondrous flower had blossomed within my breast. What agony I felt as the time of my departure arrived, as I bid my way past those security gates. My head whirled and I scarcely knew where I was. Suddenly I realize I cannot accompany the rest of the stallions through these trying times and know that its only a matter of time before she is mine forever. I feel as though I am in the grip of a fever but know I am in excellent health.....I think of nothing but security lady and know deeply that I am in love, for I ache at the thought of time that must pass before I can gaze upon that perfect face again......

Reshard Moore.. The world has yet to see

2005-06-29T15:23:00.000+10:00

Ok guys, get ready. After the dog on the tuckerbox debacle (I was braindead when I posted that) I thought I'd better redeem myself, and with this latest addition, I think I have more than done so.

This is a blog found by my sister when trawling through google image search for something unrelated.

Now round here there is a lot of talk of man biscuits, but this one really takes the cake.. He's more handsome than Fraser Gehrig with a masters degree from Handsome Boy Modelling School.... So without further adieu... I give you....

Reshard Moore

Try to keep both hands on the keyboards boys... Let me know what u think.

The dog on the tuckerbox - Hooray!

2005-06-28T22:26:00.000+10:00

Driving between Adelaide and Canberra recently, I was fortunate to be able to visit an Australian icon called the dog on the tuckerbox "...Nine miles from Gundagai". It is possibly the most incredible thing I have ever seen. I have decided to share the magic that is the dog on the tuckerbox with everyone.
Here's a picture, what do you think guys? fantastic isn't it.

Work Is For Losers...

2005-06-28T15:26:00.000+10:00

Something happened Sunday night, it was the first time I realised I actually couldn't give a shit about work. As I was drinking and smoking up a storm in the wee hours of the morning, I remember thinking just before I vomitted horribly, horribly, that I had to go to work 2moro. The thing is, I just didn't care, probably shouldn't have had the next joint, but thems the breaks. Usually there is that little man saying "Don't LDK, you need a job to buy more beer.." But this time he wasn't forthcoming, have a passed a point of no return?

I couldnt even be bothered ringing work when I woke up on the couch, a little dazed and confused at 11am. I sent a one word sms to my boss simply reading "sick"..

On a side note, these 4 day weeks are really doing it for me, don't think I can go back to the old days of the 5 day week

City of churches... I think not..

2005-06-24T19:41:00.000+10:00

I realised today, walking down my old friend Rundle mall that the number of hot women in Adelaide is just OUT OF CONTROL. Living in Canberra so long has desensitised me to crap public spaces filled with average people living average lives.
I would really like to see a group venture organized to bring the Stallions over, en masse, so they could see with their own eyes....

Hope you guys are keeping the Canberra flame burning. We're hitting Electric Circus tonight, which from all accounts is da bomb...

Its SO good to be home.

:)

And then there were five...

2005-06-24T11:47:00.000+10:00

Yes, as Debsie has incinuated, it seems as the CIH stallions have lost Boris to the scrap heap of bureaucracy. Apparently he is too "Russian" and not "Aussie" enough to remain in his job. What a crock of fucking shite...

I think the call to arms is finally here for the stallions, it is time for us to regroup and bring down the oppressive regime of the HR, not with words, but with blood..

Its a sad sad day.....

2005-06-24T11:44:00.000+10:00

Say it aint so Boris.....

Dark times are upon CIH

2005-06-23T14:43:00.000+10:00

There is plenty of love to be shared. Yet it is not redistributing evenly among us. The stallionship is broken... Something must be done before it's too late. I know just the right liquid... it's called vodka.

Drink Coffee Kids! It will save you precious time

2005-06-23T10:57:00.000+10:00

Boris was a victim of coffee abstinence this morning... ended up going to a meeting in a wrong building full of all old people in the middle of a handy craft class...

jebs support band....

2005-06-22T10:55:00.000+10:00

neon
Originally uploaded by Fist.

yum! neon, get yourselves some of this tonight boys

Magic Dirt

2005-06-21T22:29:00.000+10:00

Reading review...pretty accurate actually

....despite the bitter cold and subdued midweek crowd.....until we rocked up

......I felt they were somewhat lacking tonight, though judging by the audience response, Its seems I'm in the minority.....well that was the case until we got the partie started ;)

Has anyone seen this man?

2005-06-21T15:54:00.000+10:00

i'm becoming a little concerned, has been mia since yesterday

ps. looks like dogga in this photo

Making himself at home :D

2005-06-19T21:33:00.000+10:00

What happens when Debsie locks himself out of his own apartment on a Sunday night, and Fist is no-where to be seen? Take advantage of someones hospitality thats what! Fair enough, she did say 'make your self at home' so after demolishing 6 extra drys I decided to investigate wine cabinet and devolve in half opened cab savs! Hehe meanwhile, all this drinking was making Debsie one very hungry man.....so might as well rape and pillage the subjects pantry whilst ones at it!

Finally Sally comes home with RMC chump date in toe....and looks upon the scene of gluttony. One very pissed cunt, passed out on couch, cookie crumbs and wine glasses in large numbers...all whilst James Bond in cranking on full ball! Hahaha

Boris won't eat his worm

2005-06-18T22:42:00.000+10:00

....what a fuckin pussy.

Boris is... Krafty Kuts

2005-06-18T18:48:00.000+10:00

Hahah what the fuck? I didnt realise that boris was moonlighting as Krafty Kuts. He's a dead ringer.

Meanwhile, in Wollongong

2005-06-18T13:13:00.000+10:00

Meanwhile, in the heart of Wollongong, Fist is doing his best to join the tequila spirit and downing a Corona. Its end of exams and the uni girls are out about and generally off their face. I like it. The North gong being ripped to the shit as we speak, but soon it will morph into a bigger, funkier, gak worthy establishment that may one day challenge the might of bourbon street.

Ferret Boy and I were just talking and...

2005-06-17T19:31:00.000+10:00

we decided that we were the best thing that has ever happened to boris. If it wasn't for us, he'd still be a dark ages speaking pigeon english and lets not start on the gak my friends...

On behalf of all stallions...

2005-06-17T17:54:00.000+10:00

I'd just like to send a big thanks out to boris the bulletdodger!

Today he tried to get us all fired with his crazy boris antics, what a gun.. I guess we will find out on monday whether we still have jobs to go back to. Might as well treat this paycheck as out last. hehe

Bitch. Bitch. Bitch.

2005-06-17T15:17:00.000+10:00

Sometimes I wonder about the CIH Stallions. It seems all they have been doing today is bitching over some fucking meeting of the minds (MOTM). Do they think I want to hear this shit? Ive got more important things to think about, like where my next beer is coming from. If they want to remain stallions, I think growing some balls might be in order...

Another day in hell...

2005-06-17T09:41:00.000+10:00

If I was to say Tuggeranong was a wretched hive of scum and villany, would anyone object?

What does a trent barrett supporter look like?

2005-06-16T23:42:00.000+10:00

Here ya go...

Hentai, Anyone?

2005-06-16T23:26:00.000+10:00

I was doing a google image search and came across Prisoner No.7. Enjoy!

If anyone says..

2005-06-16T23:00:00.000+10:00

four finger freddy doesnt come through in the clutch. They can come speak to me and I will slap them silly with my long dong. Word.

I want everyone to be sharing the love like this on friday night...

2005-06-16T22:50:00.000+10:00

Stallions after a hard night at the office... Did I say sex on a stick??!

Awww... Isn't he Cute

2005-06-16T22:31:00.000+10:00

This is me getting all up on some girls shoulder... Like a ferret up her drainpipe.

Plan of actions, Evening Fri 17 June 2005 ?

2005-06-16T19:26:00.000+10:00

It has to get better than this :

Great, just when I didn't have enough of this shit at work

2005-06-16T19:00:00.000+10:00

New addition to the family

2005-06-16T18:49:00.000+10:00

Guess what came in the mail today, A brand spanking new isi cream whipper (I love you ebay). I'm certain that this little baby will bring plenty of joy to the family in the coming months, years decades. It has many uses, one of them being whipping cream.

'El Jimador'

2005-06-16T16:01:00.000+10:00

This weekend we are set to discover the flavour of 'El Jimador' Tequila... what will happen after that, who knows. Thats the wonderful thing about tequila.. You drink/snort it and then anything can (and usually does) happen. I'm excited... Are you?

I bet its not as good as 1800

How to show a friend you're pissed off with?

2005-06-16T16:00:00.000+10:00

I say jack off into his/her shampoo bottle!

What do you say?

Why do turtles have pink feet?

2005-06-16T15:57:00.000+10:00

Frankly, I don't know and I don't care.

Ferret Boy is In Da House

2005-06-16T15:49:00.000+10:00

You heard it right folks... Ferret boy is here and ready to get controversial.

I'll keep it short cos frankly I have nothing to say right now except HI!

Good times

2005-06-16T15:19:00.000+10:00

Wow, my first ever blog...